Things Vanessa Taught Us

56 years ago today, the world changed. Vanessa Joan (pronounced Jo-anne... don't get it wrong) Craft (later Barrett) entered this world. But really, doesn't the world change each time one of us is born? Doesn't the world change when each one of us dies? I think that's how Vanessa felt. Each of us has a unique task of leaving this world better than we found it.

On this, what would be her 56th birthday, I think it is important for us to remember that Vanessa left this world better than she found it. Vanessa, my dear mother, was a teacher. Not only in the classroom, this brave woman sought to teach each and every person she met. I believe that she succeeded. Listed below are 56 lessons that Vanessa taught us.

I hope you enjoy the list, laughing at the funny lessons, and humbly remembering the somber ones... but most of all, I hope you share this list, both by sharing the list itself with others, but even more so by living out the lessons.

1. Meals can be one course. This course can be popcorn, Shells-n-Cheese, nachos, or any other number of foods that require little to no effort to prepare.

2. Of all fast-food restaurants, always choose Taco Bell (unless the Taco Bell has been closed by the health department... then choose Arby's).

3. The healthiest competition comes from card games. Also, don't mess with a Craft woman, especially when she is playing Phase 10, Skip-bo, or Wizard.

4. Teachers have first names. They really like to be called by them, too!

5. The only way to be happy is to be yourself.

6. Everyone has a talent. If you think you don't, you haven't tried hard enough.

7. Travelling in large groups is risky, especially when you don't know the language. Always have a meeting spot in case of emergencies.

8. If something seems like a bad idea, DON'T DO IT!

9. No child is a lost cause.

10. Likewise, every child deserves to be loved and to be given a second chance.

11. Again, likewise, children are not their parents.

12. Love transcends divisions. That doesn't make divisions less hard to deal with, but love is worth persevering in.

13. If you have troubles remembering your 9 times tables, hold both hands in the air (working under the assumption that you have all and only 10 fingers). To figure out 9 x 4, (starting at the left) count over four fingers (your left pointer finger). Put it down. To the left of it will be 3 fingers, to the right of it will 6. 9 x 4 = 36. 9 x 6 = ? Count over six, put down your right thumb. 5 to the left, 4 to the right. 9 x 6 = 54.

14. The only ab workout you need is laughter.

15. Don't take yourself so seriously.

16. The best way you can love your children is to love your parenting partner. (She phrased it, "The best way a man can love his children is to love his wife." I have altered the lesson to be inclusive.)

17. When stuck in a conflict, "BUILD A BRIDGE and GET OVER IT!"

18. Things don't always have to be tidy to be organized.

19. If a group of people is getting together and have invited you, you declining the invitation means that you will be the subject of conversation.

20. Life is short. Spend time with friends and family.

21. Friendship is the most precious gift you have. You are not limited to one best friend. The more, the better.

22. You can live on less than 1 kidney. For a long time.

23. If you don't know the answer, admit it. Don't make an answer up. It does no good to anyone.

24. Take the questions of children seriously. You might learn something in the answering.

25. There is truth to the command to "make a joyful noise." Tone-deaf is merely a state of mind.

26. If you're feeling sorry for yourself, others probably are, too. You are worth more than feeling sorry for yourself.

27. Doctors should be nice to you. You are buying their houses, their cars, and (as the case of Vanessa's nephrologist) funding their divorces.

28. Once you get the "teacher look," you'll never forget it. Phrases like "suck a duck" will incite said look.

29. The "mom glare" is strikingly similar to the "teacher look."

30. If you can't play sports (or just aren't any good at 'em), encourage the people who do!

31. Cherish your sorority sisters. They're the only ones who won't think you're crazy when you sing the songs/do the dances you remember from college.

32. Always designate a friend to remove your "bedside/top drawer" contents in the case of your untimely death. Your children won't ever thank you for it, but really they're thankful.

33. Pepsi is addictive. Never trust a Coca-Cola drinker (even if you marry one).

34. Children are never mistakes. They are gifts to be cherished.

35. Do not try to iron your clothes while you're wearing them.

36. Family is family, no matter what.

37. Never underestimate the power of a smile. It lifts your own spirits more than it lifts the spirits of others.

38. Kids grow up, most of the time before you even know it. Savor childhood.

39. Relax. Yes, you. RELAX.

40. When making puppy chow, always double-bag.

41. Relationships (especially with your kids) are more important than keeping a perfect house.

42. The only color of Laffy Taffy worth eating is the yellow. And if you don't think the jokes are funny? Well, see #15!

43. When being intimate under the Christmas tree, watch out for needles. Or buy a fake tree.

44. When sneezing, remember to squeeze. This maneuver is (cleverly) titled the "sneeze-n-squeeze).

45. You are perfect, but your life won't and doesn't have to be. Trying to make it so is a wasted effort.

46. You never know when Kilroy is watching.

47. It is convenient to name your kid the same thing as the next door neighbor's kid. It cuts down on the yelling.

48. Hug people. You probably need it more than they do, but it will brighten their day and lift their spirit.

49. A dog will always love you, no matter how badly you snore.

50. Open your home to those who need it.

51. Your paycheck does not define you.

52. Everyone has a nickname. If they don't, it is your responsibility to make one up!

53. Give until you can't give anymore.

54. Like most music, Barry Manilow is best heard on vinyl.

55. Your legacy will continue to affect people long after you have left this earth. People you've never met... make sure it is one worth leaving.

56. Never forget the 4 L's... Learn, Laugh, Love, Live

So, which is your favorite? Which are you best at? On which do you need to work?

*a special thanks to Diane for inspiring this post

** a VERY special thank you to all who shared lessons and memories on facebook. I couldn't have compiled this list without you!

Happy Birthday To Me!

Well, yesterday was my birthday. I turned 24, and I am quite thankful to have been blessed with another year of life. I told a few people that I wanted it to be my last birthday, because I never want to turn 25... there is just something about being a quarter of a century old that bugs me. When I told my brother that, however, he pointed out to me that the only way to truly never turn 25 was to off myself, so I guess I will just have to live with it if I make it to March 12, 2012.

I felt so very honored yesterday by many people, so I am going to turn the tables on them and share some of the things that moved me deeply. Here are some of the gifts I received yesterday.

- Chocolate Covered Oreos - I was blessed to be able to enjoy dinner at Benihana on Thursday night with the love of my life, my best friend, and the love of her life. The four of us gathered around the hibachi grill and shared stories and laughter. Just when I thought that my dinner was perfect, exchanging loving glances with my handsome husband, I caught a glimpse of those same glances being shared between my best friend and the man that has made her truly glow. Despite how much I love the Oreos smothered in chocolate that she gave me, to see my best friend so incredibly happy was the best birthday gift that she could have given me.

- An herb chopper - Now I know what you're thinking... "Really, Anna, an herb chopper? What is so exciting and invigorating about that?" One of my favorite food items to prepare is guacamole. I don't really care to sound proud, but I have been told that my guacamole is quite exceptional. One ingredient I use is fresh cilantro, and as much as I love it, I don't care to have my hands smell like fresh cilantro for two days after I make a huge batch of guacamole. A chopper similar to this has been on my "personal indulgence" wishlist for quite some time. I was even at a Pampered Chef party and saw it in the catalog and did not purchase it because I did not really have that much money to blow. So when my husband handed me the bag containing my birthday gift with the disclaimer, "It is not very much..." imagine my surprise when I pulled out a chopper!! It was an amazing gift, but better than the gift was knowing that I have chosen to spend my life with a person who listens and processes the things that make me happy. Herb chopper or not, his character is always a gift to me.

- A bottle of home crafted wine - A good friend of mine from Ohio Northern University has chosen to attend seminary in Atlanta. He has taken to home brewing and crafting wine. In the past two years I have been blessed to serve on the General Commission on the Status and Role of Women of the United Methodist Church (we'll talk more about this later), and I met a wonderful woman, Diane, who has met my ONU friend at their seminary. She was gracious enough to haul a bottle of strawberry wine (complete with triquetra wax seal) from Atlanta to Chicago, where she kept it safe and unbroken through her journeys around the windy city. This bottle of wine has shown me the incredible network friends and colleagues I have not only in seminary, but also in the United Methodist Church.

- A generous donation in my honor - D (my friend mentioned earlier) serves on the Advocacy for Women Endowment Fund sub-committee, and she rounded up the executive committee of GCSRW to make a $150 to the endowment in my honor! How exciting! I so wish that I had enough money to match their gifts. I am so thankful that the wonderful people with whom I serve on GCSRW can honor one another in ways that can further the mission of not only our commission and the United Methodist Church, but also the mission that our God has called each and every one of us to. How blessed I am not only for this gift in my honor, but also for the blessing to spend my second birthday in a row with these wonderful folks.

** Shameless plug alert ** you should consider a donation to the endowment!

- A purse - One of my GCSRW friends in a deaconess from the Philippines, and each time she comes to the US for a meeting, she brings goodies!! This time she brought me a wonderful purse. Not only do I love purses, but I love the fact that each time I see/use it, I will think of her and her ministry in the Philippines. I have been involved in a lot of conversation about the global nature of the church in the past few weeks/months, and this gift is something that wil keep that in my mind for quite some time to come. D mentioned in her blog post about my birthday that I have a passion for the small church with a vision of the global church. I have never been more flattered in my life. In the course of the meeting I have participated in during the last 24 hours, it has (again) been made apparent to me that the United Methodist Church needs to truly live into the full connectional (my spell check on here hates that word... we're going to have to do something about that) nature or face some grave consequences.

All these things and my birthday festivities are not completed. My best friend is driving out to Chicago to spend the weekend with me. I hope that the weekend is truly restful for both of us!

22 going on 23

Each Valentine's day, my mother would buy me and my brother a small gift.  Usually it was a toy or trinket or something of the like.  As a child, I always loved to read.  I always checked out my limit of 4 books at the library and returned and exchanged them as soon as possible.  One Valentine's day, I walked down the stairs to see our gifts sitting on that white and yellow speckled kitchen counter.  Brad's toy?  A G.I. Joe.  My gift was a book.  A lowsy book.  Now, why I thought my gift was lousy? I don't know... I loved to read and this was a perfectly appropriate gift for me.  I put up a huge fuss!!  My mother was so offended that she never got us a gift for Valentine's day (other than a sweet or two) after that.  My mom always bought me the best gifts, and sent the most thoughtful lcards, and most of the time I never appreciated them.  

Today, the day before my 23rd birthday, I am sitting in the Columbus airport, heading to Chicago.  I am flying away from my family, and all but one of my best friends.  Birthdays were always important to us Barrett's and I have chosen (though not quite so willingly) to spend this birthday away from the people that I most want to be with.  I am going to a setting in which no one will know that it is my birthday.  I am feeling apprehensive, and a bit lonely already, just sitting in the airport.  

Who knows what tomorrow will bring... another year to my age? certainly.  A bit of sadness that I won't ever get a card or gift from my mom?  Most likely.  Loneliness because I'm not spending my first birthday married with my husband?  Yeah.  Will I live through it all?  Yes.  

23, here I come...